Candy Is Dandy, But Liquor Is Quicker.

Once upon a time, there was a family with the last name Gino. If you read the post prior to this, you’ve got a clue to just how dysfunctional we are. Well, family parties seem to be the core of the madness. I can remember back to the infamous Christmas party of ‘98...


It was hosted by Aunt Rica and Uncle John at their house, which was conveniently right next door to ours. My brother Smith, my father Tim and I all decided to go early and help with the setting up part. My cousins Noelle and Chris were there and we had a blast just joking around and pulling pranks on our elders. When guests started to arrive, we hid behind chairs on their front porch just waiting to jump out with our weak attempt at scaring them. About an hour passed and we were still greeting everyone on their way in. The last guest finally arrived, and we could tell she wanted nothing but trouble.

Kristen Keg.

Everyone knew of the falling out between her and Lance, who had already arrived. He was just about the nicest guy on the planet, always buying us ice cream when the Mr. Ding-A-Ling truck drove by. Lance just couldn’t handle Kristin’s heavy drinking and decided he’d be better off without her. Needless to say she was absolutely enraged to discover he found a new girlfriend, Mary-Beth, just two short weeks after their breakup. Her drinking got even worse.

Anyways, enough with the history lesson.

The smell of liquor was obvious as Kristen Keg (ironic, no?) stumbled past us and into the house. I followed behind her along with Noelle to see what would transpire. Kristen fell, luckily being caught by Paul Lancingbuck - who you’ll hear more about later on. She sat at the table and took a chug of her Black Velvet Whiskey that was already ¾ of the way finished off. Uncle John chuckled as he mixed her a drink using the remainder of the bottle. Kristen took a sip before getting up to find Lance. By now, everyone in the house was speaking in hushed whispers as we watched her find her way to the kitchen where Mary-Beth and Lance were standing, staring at her with worry.

Kristen almost made her way to them before Paul stopped her.

“Kristen, you’re drunk. As always. Go home, sleep, sober up, and then see if you still think what you’re about to do is smart.” he urged.

“Fu-uck yoouu. I’m perrrfectly fiiine.” Kristen slurred.
She made her way past him and went right up in Lance’s face.

“Kristen-”

“Shhh. Lemme talk. I can’t believe you le-eft me.” She hiccupped and continued. “I should’ve seen this one comin’. You and that wh-hore. I knew you was thinkin’ ‘a her when you was fuckin’ mee!”

Kristen slapped Lance, albeit clumsily, in the face. Paul pulled her back and she stumbled back to the front door before making her exit. The rest of the night went on just fine. Chris, Smith, Noelle and I laughed and mocked Kristen Keg the rest of the night. The next time I saw her she was covered in mud and piss with her wrist in a sling.

And that, my dears, doesn’t even begin tell the story of the Ginos. There’s still cheating wives, divorces, psycho mothers, deaths, kissing-cousins (which isn’t as disgusting as it seems), birthday parties, and cross-dressing grandfathers galore.

Here’s To “Thinkin’ ‘a Her”,
Bella =]


"If it takes me all night long, I'm gonna get my drink on."
- Toby Keith

Introducing....

Here's the dealllllllll.
It all started with an italian boy, son of two immigrants, and a girl the youngest of five children who grew up on a farm. Yes, a farm. I forgot to tell you this was a good six decades ago. Maybe a little less. The two met and fell madly, and deeply in love. Got married, blah blah blah, and ended up with five kids. Jennifer, Brian, John, Colleen and Timmy. The Gino kids. The All-American dad coached the sports teams. Stay at home mom. Until the nervous breakdown. That shook things up a bit. But anyway, the Gino kids.They stumbled their ways through the seventies and eighties (and the sixties somewhat in Jen and Bri's case) Oh don't get me wrong their was drama then. drug phases (in some cases they never ended ha), unwed pregnancy, nonwedded cohabitation, divorce. each a different kid in that case ;The mid eighties killed their parent's ha. Then the first grandkid was born, starting a whole new era of drama. Chris (named for his grandfather) was born to John and Rica.
That's where we come in! Meet Avery and Bella! We are this grandchild generation. Avery, eldest child of Colleen and her husband Walker. And Bella, youngest child of Tim.
Living the past sixteen years in this family, we've seen it all. And some shit has gone down that you would NOT believe (pardon my french)
Some of it sitcom worthy.
Some of it seemingly stolen from a soap opera.
Other things, you wouldn't even see on reality tv.
So one day, us cousins, close as sisters, decided that these little stories would make for good entertainment.
So join us as we blog past stories that have been passed down or witnessed.
And current gossip that is going down in the Gino Family.
Growing up in such a dysfunctional family leads to ties to dysfunctional friend's right? of couse. So we may throw in current things going on in our lives with friends as well.

As a final word, ever one thinks their family is crazy. That or they wish it was. Well what's better than reading about one? Give us a chance ;]

-Ave and Bells

"I'd like to say thank you on behalf of the group and myself and I hoped we passed the audition."
--Lennon